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Love Capsule: I married a divorcee in my 40s


If you’re an unmarried woman above her 30s in India, then you must have faced a number of difficulties and harsh criticism. In a society where people are expected to get married in their 20s, being 40 and unmarried was the ultimate rebel decision. I had no regrets because I was happy with my career, my family and friends. I didn’t want to tie myself down to an unknown person just for the sake of getting married.

In my 20s, people were getting into arranged marriages, if they couldn’t find a suitable person to love by the age of 25. With suitors hoarding homes every now and then, I also faced the nightmare of being ‘presented’ in front of the suitor and his family, and me being the strong rebel, I refused every single time. I would not marry a person I didn’t feel a connection with. And so, I abided by my word, even till I turned 40.

It’s not a pretty sight where people are constantly mocking you about remaining single for life because no one would marry a woman in her 40s. Firstly, because I was “old” according to societal norms, and secondly, my biological clock had already run out. Nevertheless, I didn’t pay heed to such words, no matter how much they hurt. And sometimes, I believed it was my fault for not marrying when I had the time.

But God has his way. At least that’s what I believe now. In an unexpected turn of events, I fell in love with my neighbour, who had moved in over six months ago, from now. He was a charming gentleman, who had been divorced with a child whose custody remained with her mother. Due to underlying problems, they had to separate and so, this man moved into my neighbourhood. As a means of welcome, all of us greeted him and slowly, I began talking to him and found out that we both bore a connection so familiar that it could mean nothing but only love. I loved spending time with him and he felt the same. I felt this incredible connection and I wanted to spend all my time with him. And this could only mean marriage. It had been over a year since he moved into our neighbourhood, and he asked for my hand in marriage. I, of course, said yes! Although it took my parents and family quite some time to accept the fact that I would be marrying a divorcee at 45. It rattled everyone, but somehow, everyone agreed since I would finally get married! I was elated and content.

Our marriage has been a pleasant one. Although, we do face occasional taunts about me getting married so late, or ‘marrying a divorcee because I had no option left.’ Such comments were hurtful, but my husband and I have thick skin and don’t let such comments get to us. I was never too inclined towards motherhood, but as soon as I got married, such feelings began to arise within me. We both decided to adopt because it would be the perfect way.

And then Nisha, our eight-year-old daughter graced our lives. It was a beautiful experience, to be a mother and be married to someone you love. Hurdles lit our path all the time, but I was determined to move past them. I wonder, if I had given in to society’s pressure a long time ago, and married someone I didn’t want to; could I have ever had the life I’m living right now? It maybe full of little obstacles, but at least now, I’m really happy!



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